Sunday 5 September 2010

realisation ...

sunday 5th september 2010
10:15pm

yesterday was my grannynanny's 100th birthday, those who knew me in yr 10 might remember the break down i had when she died, i couldn't cope, i was already starting on the slipperly slope of anorexia but my great gran was one person i could tell things and not be worried that it would go any further. she was the first person to notice i wasn't 'right' i had lost weight far to quickly for her liking and was becoming withdrawn on the visits which i enjoyed so so much and i think she appreciated the fact that i wanted to go there every week, if i couldn't vist i would ring her and have a gab =]

we always laughed at when she would turn 100, she would recieve her telegram from the queen and we would send it back to the sender as she hated them so much!! so with her 100th looming this week i just wanted to be able to have the telegram hold it in my hand and laugh with her! i got up in the morning cried and sang happy birthday! but for once i was not crying because she wasn't here but because i was taking her advice and fighting, i was starting to become happy again and my mood was starting to get better. i knew why, one word Tom! one family wdp, they had taken me on like i was a 'normal' person what ever normal is, but i like the fact i fit in with the team!! i am fighting to help people and trying my best to help fight the prejudice and discrimiation people with disabilities still face and it drives me mad!! so for once i felt like i was making her proud.

i lasted slightly longer at a family party, although i was panicing by the time i left, lots of people food etc and i just look at it looking like a right idiot!!! oooh well, tom was there so it was nice to be able to leave with him and get ready for our trip to huddersfield today =]

sadly jayne was all poorly sick =[ so i had to be stuck with tom's manly habbits all day and use my womanly eye to make sure that his room was up to scratch and we knew which cleaning equipment he would need! lots of photos on facebook as you've seen, and yes my bathroom pictures are there hahaha i have to take photos of loos, i blame my OCD!!

well this time next week i will be getting ready to go back to college, not wanting to at all - i've actually enjoyed my summer and i'm not wanting yr 13 to start i'm rather happy where i am and cba with all the stresses of college!!!!!!

x x x x x x

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