friday 29th october 2010
21:59pm
last night is one which i will never forget, the nomination itself was enough but to be short listed and then awarded the heart of gold award was just amazing.
i sat listening to what wire fm had to say about me and with pride i smiled. i couldn't believe all the work i had actually done, was the scared 13 yr old anorexic now making a slight difference to other people's lives. i was once i very quite self reserved person and now i was on stage seeing a room full of people with wet teary eyes, my mum more like a waterfall but filled with pride that her daughter was able to walk on stage and have the strength to realise that anorexia was the enemy and not the family or friends who surrounded me.
listening to what other people had done to help make a difference was really nice but the best thing of the night was been able to celebrate it with the people who have really made a difference to my life. tom walked into my life in June/July time and not walked out, he won't either he's to special for me to loose and he's made such a dramatic difference to my life, but he didn't just bring himself he brought the rest of his family too, who are basically just like another set of parents and actually feel comfortable when i'm in their house. i'm happy to help out, well would rather still act like a guest but that i think has worn off now =p i'm there too often!!!
the thoughts running through my head were manic, my emotions had been all over the place and my appointment with the harrison centre was okay but they still don't know what to and what not to diagnose me with offically!! it's rather amusing after a while as i'm a complex case - believe me i'm far from it!!
getting the award is a feeling i had never thought i would get again, i actually once for a short period was happy with me, i things seemed so much nicer. I went back to a teary table and lots of hugs were given.
when people extra special walk into your life you really don't want to let them go, i take a while to form relationships, on trust manily, but once i know they can be trusted i really struggle to let them go. maybe i become too attached but these people have made a huge difference to my life and i'll work dam hard to keep them in - upsetting people is a big NO, i feel guilty for hours if not days until i'm sure things will be steady.
in the car back home i reflected on the night and something which was said, which i said "i'm an ordinary girl with a few slight problems" and it's so true i am and very proud of it.
i hope to god life stays this good if not better!!
rach
x x x x x
21:59pm
last night is one which i will never forget, the nomination itself was enough but to be short listed and then awarded the heart of gold award was just amazing.
i sat listening to what wire fm had to say about me and with pride i smiled. i couldn't believe all the work i had actually done, was the scared 13 yr old anorexic now making a slight difference to other people's lives. i was once i very quite self reserved person and now i was on stage seeing a room full of people with wet teary eyes, my mum more like a waterfall but filled with pride that her daughter was able to walk on stage and have the strength to realise that anorexia was the enemy and not the family or friends who surrounded me.
listening to what other people had done to help make a difference was really nice but the best thing of the night was been able to celebrate it with the people who have really made a difference to my life. tom walked into my life in June/July time and not walked out, he won't either he's to special for me to loose and he's made such a dramatic difference to my life, but he didn't just bring himself he brought the rest of his family too, who are basically just like another set of parents and actually feel comfortable when i'm in their house. i'm happy to help out, well would rather still act like a guest but that i think has worn off now =p i'm there too often!!!
the thoughts running through my head were manic, my emotions had been all over the place and my appointment with the harrison centre was okay but they still don't know what to and what not to diagnose me with offically!! it's rather amusing after a while as i'm a complex case - believe me i'm far from it!!
getting the award is a feeling i had never thought i would get again, i actually once for a short period was happy with me, i things seemed so much nicer. I went back to a teary table and lots of hugs were given.
when people extra special walk into your life you really don't want to let them go, i take a while to form relationships, on trust manily, but once i know they can be trusted i really struggle to let them go. maybe i become too attached but these people have made a huge difference to my life and i'll work dam hard to keep them in - upsetting people is a big NO, i feel guilty for hours if not days until i'm sure things will be steady.
in the car back home i reflected on the night and something which was said, which i said "i'm an ordinary girl with a few slight problems" and it's so true i am and very proud of it.
i hope to god life stays this good if not better!!
rach
x x x x x
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