having a purpose ...

Saturday 23rd October 2010

08:10am

I can't believe it's nearly the end of October already. things are going so quickly, and I'm wondering if it's because I'm well enough to enjoy the time I'm having. It may sound cheesy, but it's so true, a day used to be a day nothing to appreciate it came and went. ...

Know my day has a purpose, i have things to do and events to count down to. My days are full =], okay I don't enjoy college but i do have other things now going on. I get to spend time at WDP talking to people who make me see that i do deserve to be here. I get to act my age without worrying and at times like everyone i get to act that little bit immature (maybe that happens more) the main office is not a normal office put it that way.

yesterday i was at Hollins park, it was weird - but i was able to help train staff on this first impressions training, i was able to link my experiences in with their training, and was made up when i noticed my name on one of the feed back sheets, i had made their course better and couldn't believe it really!!

so Thursday was the day that really made me realised how much work i have been doing and that people can actually see it. I'd been nominated and short listed for the wire FM 'heart of gold' award. okay at first i was in complete shock but managed to get over it, after all i get a new dress =p

over the past three months a certain person started to change my outlook on things. He's made me realise that i don't have to be so worried about everything and is able to tell me how irrational a lot of my thoughts still are, without me getting into a screaming fit of range but actually getting me to think!! My life isn't just revolving round food and college, I'm starting to get a social life and getting to know people who i haven't met through a hospital setting!! although in recovery my life was still based a lot round food, i had structured times however, you realise with tom there is not set time for food!! It's nice to be able to have someone you actually sit on the sofa with and just feel comfortable - so comfortable i normally end up falling asleep!!

the amount of people who have been telling me to write a book is amazing, however, i want to make the final few chapters based on me growing up more as a person, finding myself as a person more also. when people come into your life who you don't want to let go of it's one of the feelings which makes me see that i do deserve to be happy. feeling welcome in someone Else's home, not just by them but their entire family is so nice. I have to laugh with the fact i don't just have a veggie draw at mine but also at tom's it's the extra things people do which make me feel like I'm actually accepted, a word which i never thought I'd be able to say ever again! after gone from years of bee terrified of staying at people's houses, I'm now a regular guest at the Horton hotel =]

times are changing, I'm accepting that i need to change and I'm glad I've got people around me who are helping me to do it ...

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