Thursday 28th August 2014
10:30am
So a few people have been doing a blog called the 30 day mental health blog challenge, so here we go.
Day 1 - What is/are your mental illness(es)? Explain it
a little.
Where do I start?!
My official diagnosis are Anorexia Nervosa and Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) , both of these are then linked to my depression, anxiety and self harm.
I suppose I've noticed more people struggle with my diagnosis of BPD due to the stigma which is attached to it. I suppose it took me a while to accept it myself, once I had accepted it I was desperate for other people to see that and so it hurt me when others didn't.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
So on another note, I'm actually looking forward to September and my normal routine can begin again. As much as I'm nervous about going back to uni, I suppose I owe it to myself to prove so many people wrong. With the work I'm doing with fixers this should help combat some stigma and hopefully change the attitudes I faced at the end of last term. I have a great "support worker" as such at uni and to be honest it's good that I have someone that I can go to, outside of class. I think some people struggle with the idea that doing a counselling course and having a tutor who is qualified I should be able to go there, but that's not always the case. It was the same in college, I could confide more in the people who weren't seeing me each morning in registration or in class. The head of college was amazing and I really couldn't fault the support she gave me and the time she took to understand. With the diagnosis of BPD it made sense why I am the way I am with the relationships I form with people.
I'm really hoping that once my routine kicks in my mood will improve and I have something to focus on again each day, other than trying to find something to do and needing an excuse to leave the flat (sad I know).
Tonight is the last home game for Warrington Wolves of the season and due to my usual buddy this season sunning himself I've asked my brother to come and keep me company. I hate crowds and obviously the rugby isn't the ideal place but the Wolves kept me going when I was receiving treatment from my anorexia. Any matches I could watch I would watch, it was my reminder of home without feeling to annoyed with not being home (if that makes any sense) As long as I'm with someone who knows me and can see when I starting to get on a high or low I seem to be able to get through, I can get my frustration out and put myself into the game. I'm not a sporty person at all and I don't want to come across that I completely understand all the rules of the game, but for me it's a bit of normality. Every now and again there are a few surprises which I've not prepared myself for. So I suppose I have Warrington Wolves in away to help me put myself in a situation I'd much rather not be in, but each game is a step in the right direction no matter if we win or lose!
Rach x
Thursday, 28 August 2014
Sunday, 24 August 2014
Hands on the clock only turn one way
Sunday 24th August 2014
03:11pm
So I tried doing to separate blogs one for JBL and then this one, but to be honest it just to far to complicated and so I've decided to just stick to the one mixing in what is going on with JBL and also what's going on from my own personal situation.
Last blogged officially in March (eek)
So what's gone on then, well rather a lot. I suppose the biggest barrier I've had to over come is the stigma attached around my own abilities due to the fact I have a diagnosed psychiatric illness.This sadly came from college. I'm studying a Foundation Degree in Counselling and how I am in the classroom apparently in someway shows how I would be in a counselling room and I could also be affected by what people bring. The way I see it is all counselors will be touched by something which is why we have supervision.
Through JBL I come in contact with many people who have been affected by something similar to myself, if I really couldn't cope believe me I'd say and I wouldn't be able to be involved with JBL as much as I'd like. I was heartbroken to hear how this decision had been made based on my diagnosis and how I am in a classroom setting. My last years of high school and then college were not what I'd call enjoyable, very quickly people became aware of how "crazy" I was and I was sent horrific messages at times. Hence my wary of educational settings no matter how old my class mates may be. I would like to think my work with JBL is professional when it needs to be.
With this I decided to start awareness around Borderline Personality Disorder, so far it's going well. I'm so thankful that people have shown me the support with this project. I say it a lot but I really am not ashamed of having mental health issues, what is shameful is the stigma that is still placed around it. This has been shown through the sad passing of Robin Williams.
Robin Williams was known to suffer from depression but just not to the extent the public found out sadly last week. The way in which is was reported was shameful and some of the stories I found triggering. Some papers talked in detail about how he ended his life with others questioning what he had to be so depressed about. So what he was rich and funny but that doesn't make someone less likely to suffer from mental health issues. So many people have said he should have been able to get the help because he was so rich would then would have allowed him to snap out of it. You have to want help before you can seek it and then there is policies in the way of that if you do want it.
On so many occasions I've been told to snap out of it or pull myself together. On my darkest days I so wish I could. I wouldn't wish this upon my worst enemy, although then at times I just think if you could spend just one day in my shoes to see what it is really like on a bad day. I'm lucky that the family and friends I do still have around me are understanding but I know they to also struggle at times to understand why I'm so desperate to end it all. I've had to let people go who don't understand who have made it obvious that they don't want me around because of the fact I struggle in certain situations. Those who have took the time to ask questions and find out about how they can help do their up most to help and I am thankful, even if at times I don't show it.
JBL has done a couple of fundraisers which have gone really well and I hope they have raised awareness about what we offer. We did an event in Northwich on Friday which was brilliant ran by Cheshire CIL and I was also able to use by Young DPULO Ambassador hat talking to many young people about what we did and about the upcoming Young Ambassador Community Challenge.
I've been living independently for over a year now and Tilly and I were joined by Winnie who is now 4 months and a great friend for Tilly, I really am turning into a crazy cat lady, if the flat was bigger I would be like the lady of the Simpsons who actually walks round with them attached to her!
I am hoping to be a better blogger from now on with only having to worry about one blog!
Rach x xx
03:11pm
So I tried doing to separate blogs one for JBL and then this one, but to be honest it just to far to complicated and so I've decided to just stick to the one mixing in what is going on with JBL and also what's going on from my own personal situation.
Last blogged officially in March (eek)
So what's gone on then, well rather a lot. I suppose the biggest barrier I've had to over come is the stigma attached around my own abilities due to the fact I have a diagnosed psychiatric illness.This sadly came from college. I'm studying a Foundation Degree in Counselling and how I am in the classroom apparently in someway shows how I would be in a counselling room and I could also be affected by what people bring. The way I see it is all counselors will be touched by something which is why we have supervision.
Through JBL I come in contact with many people who have been affected by something similar to myself, if I really couldn't cope believe me I'd say and I wouldn't be able to be involved with JBL as much as I'd like. I was heartbroken to hear how this decision had been made based on my diagnosis and how I am in a classroom setting. My last years of high school and then college were not what I'd call enjoyable, very quickly people became aware of how "crazy" I was and I was sent horrific messages at times. Hence my wary of educational settings no matter how old my class mates may be. I would like to think my work with JBL is professional when it needs to be.
With this I decided to start awareness around Borderline Personality Disorder, so far it's going well. I'm so thankful that people have shown me the support with this project. I say it a lot but I really am not ashamed of having mental health issues, what is shameful is the stigma that is still placed around it. This has been shown through the sad passing of Robin Williams.
Robin Williams was known to suffer from depression but just not to the extent the public found out sadly last week. The way in which is was reported was shameful and some of the stories I found triggering. Some papers talked in detail about how he ended his life with others questioning what he had to be so depressed about. So what he was rich and funny but that doesn't make someone less likely to suffer from mental health issues. So many people have said he should have been able to get the help because he was so rich would then would have allowed him to snap out of it. You have to want help before you can seek it and then there is policies in the way of that if you do want it.
On so many occasions I've been told to snap out of it or pull myself together. On my darkest days I so wish I could. I wouldn't wish this upon my worst enemy, although then at times I just think if you could spend just one day in my shoes to see what it is really like on a bad day. I'm lucky that the family and friends I do still have around me are understanding but I know they to also struggle at times to understand why I'm so desperate to end it all. I've had to let people go who don't understand who have made it obvious that they don't want me around because of the fact I struggle in certain situations. Those who have took the time to ask questions and find out about how they can help do their up most to help and I am thankful, even if at times I don't show it.
JBL has done a couple of fundraisers which have gone really well and I hope they have raised awareness about what we offer. We did an event in Northwich on Friday which was brilliant ran by Cheshire CIL and I was also able to use by Young DPULO Ambassador hat talking to many young people about what we did and about the upcoming Young Ambassador Community Challenge.
I've been living independently for over a year now and Tilly and I were joined by Winnie who is now 4 months and a great friend for Tilly, I really am turning into a crazy cat lady, if the flat was bigger I would be like the lady of the Simpsons who actually walks round with them attached to her!
I am hoping to be a better blogger from now on with only having to worry about one blog!
Rach x xx
Monday, 24 March 2014
7 months on ...
Monday 24th March 2014
12:02pm
A good friend of mine mentioned the other day that I hadn't blogged for a while. Didn't realise it had been 7 months!
So what's been happening!?
I started my Foundation Degree Course in Counselling (eek!!) Honestly it started off rocky, I think I had my BPD head on for a while, trying to protect myself and knowing that I'd be with these people for the next three years of my life. The last time I was in a class environment lasting longer than a year was school. I managed to do a lot of independent study when I went back to college after my OD in 2009 but even that wasn't the best experience. I was still being prodded and poked around the decision of "does she has a personality disorder or is she Bipolar?" So it's been a very scary time, but thankfully the class I am with are lovely and we're all panicking over assignments and tapes, best bit of all it's a small class *high 5*
JBL is going really well, slow but steady which is working well for me as I can decide on what I do and when I do it with no pressure. I can't wait to graduate so I can include counselling into JBL.
I've come on a lot the past few months. I've opened up a lot more to my parents about triggers and I suppose the world of Rachael, so know it's getting the help to put what I'm ready to talk about into action. We've had a lot of fighting with services to try and get something more in place as I am worried if things don't sort out soon I will become the person I don't want to see again. Thing about opening up is you need someone to help sort it out with you and sieve through everything.
So what else has happened, I've nearly been in my flat a year, I have 3 new babies in my life (not mine, but works out better get the hugs and feeds but no so much the dirty nappies and sleepless nights) and most importantly the rugby season has started all over again.
With a relapse it's important to see what is positive still but you need to see it. There is no point other people telling you as to be honest you don't listen it's just the reassuring nod that you're listening. I know the positive influences in my life and I'm getting rid when I can of the negative ones. Recovery isn't easy but it's worth it, I would rather be on my recovery path and have a blip then be just on a relapse path and not notice the positives and keep sinking quicker to rock bottom.
The big question I'm still asked is do you think you will ever fully recover? Honestly ... no, but I do think I can manage my symptoms. My ways of coping I suppose will never be deemed "normal" which under the medical model will keep me classed as having a mental health problem, however, if society accepted that I cope by restricting my intake to cope rather than cracking open a bottle of wine after a stressful day then I wonder would things be different. I'm not okaying what I do but it's just something for you to think about, how do you cope?
Life can only move forward, I can't change the past but I can learn from my mistakes and each relapse.
Rach x x x
12:02pm
A good friend of mine mentioned the other day that I hadn't blogged for a while. Didn't realise it had been 7 months!
So what's been happening!?
I started my Foundation Degree Course in Counselling (eek!!) Honestly it started off rocky, I think I had my BPD head on for a while, trying to protect myself and knowing that I'd be with these people for the next three years of my life. The last time I was in a class environment lasting longer than a year was school. I managed to do a lot of independent study when I went back to college after my OD in 2009 but even that wasn't the best experience. I was still being prodded and poked around the decision of "does she has a personality disorder or is she Bipolar?" So it's been a very scary time, but thankfully the class I am with are lovely and we're all panicking over assignments and tapes, best bit of all it's a small class *high 5*
JBL is going really well, slow but steady which is working well for me as I can decide on what I do and when I do it with no pressure. I can't wait to graduate so I can include counselling into JBL.
I've come on a lot the past few months. I've opened up a lot more to my parents about triggers and I suppose the world of Rachael, so know it's getting the help to put what I'm ready to talk about into action. We've had a lot of fighting with services to try and get something more in place as I am worried if things don't sort out soon I will become the person I don't want to see again. Thing about opening up is you need someone to help sort it out with you and sieve through everything.
So what else has happened, I've nearly been in my flat a year, I have 3 new babies in my life (not mine, but works out better get the hugs and feeds but no so much the dirty nappies and sleepless nights) and most importantly the rugby season has started all over again.
With a relapse it's important to see what is positive still but you need to see it. There is no point other people telling you as to be honest you don't listen it's just the reassuring nod that you're listening. I know the positive influences in my life and I'm getting rid when I can of the negative ones. Recovery isn't easy but it's worth it, I would rather be on my recovery path and have a blip then be just on a relapse path and not notice the positives and keep sinking quicker to rock bottom.
The big question I'm still asked is do you think you will ever fully recover? Honestly ... no, but I do think I can manage my symptoms. My ways of coping I suppose will never be deemed "normal" which under the medical model will keep me classed as having a mental health problem, however, if society accepted that I cope by restricting my intake to cope rather than cracking open a bottle of wine after a stressful day then I wonder would things be different. I'm not okaying what I do but it's just something for you to think about, how do you cope?
Life can only move forward, I can't change the past but I can learn from my mistakes and each relapse.
Rach x x x
Thursday, 1 August 2013
When the mind goes into over drive!
Thursday 1st August 2013
08:01am
Don't know if anyone has been watching the BBC documentaries around mental health? They have been so interesting and eye opening - if you haven't watched them they're on BBCiplayer.
So they got me thinking!
Ever since I can remember I wanted to fit in and just please everyone without standing out just getting on with what ever I needed to do to just slot in. Why? Because I found relationships so hard to build and to be able to trust people. It wasn't until I entered the mental health system that this actually was associated to Borderline Personality Disorder.
When I first got ill I remember been accused of wanting to be like someone else who also had been diagnosed an ED when in fact I wanted nothing of the sort I wanted to just curl up in a corner and not be seen - I wanted to just fade away, I didn't want to be here let alone try and be someone else.
From being so desperate to fit in I'd gone to just wanting to be invisible. Now 21 I wonder how the way I was portrayed while at school those 14/15 year olds attitudes has changed. What scares me is other students in my year who were also suffering and have since been in contact from mental health issues would not ask for help due to the stick I was receiving.
I've accepted that having mental health is part of me but I'm using my journey to help others. We need to talk about mental health and not be scared to ask questions, sadly it will always be around and if we don't talk attitudes will never change. You can't see I have mental health issues which commented on but I wonder what should I look like?
Getting up in the morning is a massive step - though I'm not one to stay in bed in all day no matter how depressed I'm feeling I won't leave the house or contact people, I have my techniques to keep me motivated which always helps.
Although not at the point being permanently suicidal anymore I have my days where I contemplate what if. I'm lucky that my mental health is as under control as what it can be and I'm at a stage where I'm willing to take on therapy and battle those demons.
I just hope attitudes will change and are changing around mental health.
Rach x x x
Monday, 1 April 2013
Apologies for being me?
Monday 1st April 2013
07:12am
I can't believe in 2013 there is such a misunderstanding around mental health! Why should I have to explain or apologise for the way I am?
Officially I've had mental health issues for 8 years but realistically I've been told I've probably had issues a lot longer than before my anorexia came to a head.
I've thankfully started to get used to been that bit different from other 21 year olds but I'd rather be unique and not fit in just not in the way that I do.
Luckily my mum,dad and brother have been so understanding and know how much I have to put in to everyday. Just getting up in the morning is an effort not because I like to stay in bed but as soon as I leave the security of my room I worry about what the day will bring if I don't just hide away.
If I could snap out of how I was then I would have done a long time ago but mental health doesn't work like that your thoughts feel more powerful and controlling and will beat you at anything.
For me the worst part is the anxiety going out and feeling like your world is going to close in you could be with people you have known for years and still feel like you've never met them before and the sickness is there till you leave.
I go through phases which I don't even understand a massive one at the moment is hugs/kisses if I'm comfortable enough in small situations I may but its something which I have to talk my self through. I'd much rather mutter bye and get out which may seem rude but its how I stay safe. This only really started a couple of years ago but I link it so much with trust and where I am. I just go stiff and feel myself sweating, I've had occasions when I've not expected to be hugged or whatever and had to disappear to be sick. It's such a horrible feeling and I don't choose to be like this. Why would people think I want to be like this?
I've always said if you could be a fly on the wall in my house maybe you'd feel differently about why I am like I am. The work which my parents do to motivate me when I'm extremely low and would rather sit in the corner and cry to the days where I'm giggling for no reason and looking forward to things.
My next step is having my own place to be able to put my own motivation to others into place. I've got myself to where I am today and I'll keep on pushing and face what I have to!
It may not seem it but I am positive about how things will change. Each time I do a talk I empower myself ... I've come this far what is stopping me from keeping going?
If my 75 year old nan can be so open minded about mental health then there is hope for others and I do believe that!
Each day is a new day and brings something different as scary as that maybe!
Rach x
07:12am
I can't believe in 2013 there is such a misunderstanding around mental health! Why should I have to explain or apologise for the way I am?
Officially I've had mental health issues for 8 years but realistically I've been told I've probably had issues a lot longer than before my anorexia came to a head.
I've thankfully started to get used to been that bit different from other 21 year olds but I'd rather be unique and not fit in just not in the way that I do.
Luckily my mum,dad and brother have been so understanding and know how much I have to put in to everyday. Just getting up in the morning is an effort not because I like to stay in bed but as soon as I leave the security of my room I worry about what the day will bring if I don't just hide away.
If I could snap out of how I was then I would have done a long time ago but mental health doesn't work like that your thoughts feel more powerful and controlling and will beat you at anything.
For me the worst part is the anxiety going out and feeling like your world is going to close in you could be with people you have known for years and still feel like you've never met them before and the sickness is there till you leave.
I go through phases which I don't even understand a massive one at the moment is hugs/kisses if I'm comfortable enough in small situations I may but its something which I have to talk my self through. I'd much rather mutter bye and get out which may seem rude but its how I stay safe. This only really started a couple of years ago but I link it so much with trust and where I am. I just go stiff and feel myself sweating, I've had occasions when I've not expected to be hugged or whatever and had to disappear to be sick. It's such a horrible feeling and I don't choose to be like this. Why would people think I want to be like this?
I've always said if you could be a fly on the wall in my house maybe you'd feel differently about why I am like I am. The work which my parents do to motivate me when I'm extremely low and would rather sit in the corner and cry to the days where I'm giggling for no reason and looking forward to things.
My next step is having my own place to be able to put my own motivation to others into place. I've got myself to where I am today and I'll keep on pushing and face what I have to!
It may not seem it but I am positive about how things will change. Each time I do a talk I empower myself ... I've come this far what is stopping me from keeping going?
If my 75 year old nan can be so open minded about mental health then there is hope for others and I do believe that!
Each day is a new day and brings something different as scary as that maybe!
Rach x
Sunday, 6 January 2013
Welcome 2013
Sunday 6th January 2013
So here it is 2013!
Firstly I hope you all had a great Christmas and New Year!
2012 was such an odd year! I lost 2 very special people in my life Dave Connor in June and then my Nanna in December both of who had different in puts into my life. I also had to accept my new diagnosis on top of the many I already have in order to finally receive the therapy I need to help me over come the next few hurdles which I might face. Most importantly of all though I finally got my ass into gear and founded the journey back to life.
For this I left my old job not just for my own sanity but also because I needed to put a lot of time into JBL to get it started. Despite a lot of negativity I've done it.
What do I hope 2013 will bring for me and JBL?
Well for me I just want to be able to accept my strengths and limitations and for JBL I hope to have gained funding and to also have an office space so I can have my bedroom back!
2013 will also see my close friends getting married (finally!!) and this means I can be maid of honour and can't wait for this, dresses are sorted (well sort of) but it's something for us all to look forward to. I also have 2 concerts Olly Murs and Maroon 5, so I'm guessing 2013 will be my party year.
It's weird to think I'll be 22 this august but I've always wanted my birthday to fall on a Friday (sad I know!) but I was actually born on a Friday so always counted down to when I can celebrate on a Friday.
I hope 2013 brings you lots of happiness and good luck!
Rach x
10:49am
So here it is 2013!
Firstly I hope you all had a great Christmas and New Year!
2012 was such an odd year! I lost 2 very special people in my life Dave Connor in June and then my Nanna in December both of who had different in puts into my life. I also had to accept my new diagnosis on top of the many I already have in order to finally receive the therapy I need to help me over come the next few hurdles which I might face. Most importantly of all though I finally got my ass into gear and founded the journey back to life.
For this I left my old job not just for my own sanity but also because I needed to put a lot of time into JBL to get it started. Despite a lot of negativity I've done it.
What do I hope 2013 will bring for me and JBL?
Well for me I just want to be able to accept my strengths and limitations and for JBL I hope to have gained funding and to also have an office space so I can have my bedroom back!
2013 will also see my close friends getting married (finally!!) and this means I can be maid of honour and can't wait for this, dresses are sorted (well sort of) but it's something for us all to look forward to. I also have 2 concerts Olly Murs and Maroon 5, so I'm guessing 2013 will be my party year.
It's weird to think I'll be 22 this august but I've always wanted my birthday to fall on a Friday (sad I know!) but I was actually born on a Friday so always counted down to when I can celebrate on a Friday.
I hope 2013 brings you lots of happiness and good luck!
Rach x
Monday, 3 December 2012
looks can be deceiving ...
Monday 3rd December 2012
8:09pm
It's been a while since I last blogged and thought it was about time that I got down to business!
Lots has been happening over the past couple of months. the Journey Back to Life has had loads of exciting meetings to really get us moving properly. At one point I feared that this project would go no were after been told this and knocked down so turning it round and proving people wrong has been fantastic. It's hard but tell you what I'm glad I've made the step of doing this and I wouldn't change this, I just wish my close friend Dave Connor had been able to join forces with me and we could have challenged so many people together. However I have his spirit moving me a long and watching over sam and myself.
There have been a number of talks done now both in and out of area and it's amazing that there is a look that so many people think you have to have in order to have a mental health issue. I've been told over again that I can't have mental health because I'm pretty, confident, blonde and blue eyed! Seriously pretty, if I thought that then maybe I wouldn't have let bullies turn my life upside down and make me feel like crap to the point of attempted suicide, starvation and self harm, all for this attempt of being perfect. All I ever wanted to do was fit in as a child and I took this to such an extreme, so much so I didn't fit in.
When I speak to people now who were in my year at school and who now themselves have mental health issues or were struggling at school with them didn't tell anyone because of the grief I got because I was "mental" it's alarming, and now it seems more a less talked about and okay to talk about in school. Many young people don't get the option to openly talk about MH until I go in and when they come up and say something you can see the expression of relief on their face that they've told someone. Having someone of a similar age is great for them, some organisations may like to think sending in a "adult" who has read a book or may have experienced something is a great idea but how can someone really relate to that age group if their issues started later on?
Journey Back to Life has already thought ahead I know when I'm older school children aren't going to want to listen to me they want another 20 year old to come and talk to them about how things have affected them. So many people want to grow up but I'm trying to catch up with every other 21 year old out there! There are some things I'm glad I didn't do (been out on the streets at -4 is one of them, still don't see the appeal!)
A number of people have dragged me down and nearly led me back to the path of self destruction once again but I've pulled my way back up, I refuse to allow bullies to rule my life again and knock me down. My Social Enterprise will be a success and will fight for it to be one.
I just want people to realise that there isn't a certain look for mental health. The shock on people's faces when they realise I'm a self harmer is actually to the point laughable. I have plans for sessions around perceptions and looks and to be honest I think it's going to be a great activity. If I could go back to the 12 year old me and tell me what was going to become of my life I would laugh. However, crazy as it sounds mental health might have been the worst but best thing that could have happened to me.
It's so important to not judge people so quickly.
xxxxxx
8:09pm
It's been a while since I last blogged and thought it was about time that I got down to business!
Lots has been happening over the past couple of months. the Journey Back to Life has had loads of exciting meetings to really get us moving properly. At one point I feared that this project would go no were after been told this and knocked down so turning it round and proving people wrong has been fantastic. It's hard but tell you what I'm glad I've made the step of doing this and I wouldn't change this, I just wish my close friend Dave Connor had been able to join forces with me and we could have challenged so many people together. However I have his spirit moving me a long and watching over sam and myself.
There have been a number of talks done now both in and out of area and it's amazing that there is a look that so many people think you have to have in order to have a mental health issue. I've been told over again that I can't have mental health because I'm pretty, confident, blonde and blue eyed! Seriously pretty, if I thought that then maybe I wouldn't have let bullies turn my life upside down and make me feel like crap to the point of attempted suicide, starvation and self harm, all for this attempt of being perfect. All I ever wanted to do was fit in as a child and I took this to such an extreme, so much so I didn't fit in.
When I speak to people now who were in my year at school and who now themselves have mental health issues or were struggling at school with them didn't tell anyone because of the grief I got because I was "mental" it's alarming, and now it seems more a less talked about and okay to talk about in school. Many young people don't get the option to openly talk about MH until I go in and when they come up and say something you can see the expression of relief on their face that they've told someone. Having someone of a similar age is great for them, some organisations may like to think sending in a "adult" who has read a book or may have experienced something is a great idea but how can someone really relate to that age group if their issues started later on?
Journey Back to Life has already thought ahead I know when I'm older school children aren't going to want to listen to me they want another 20 year old to come and talk to them about how things have affected them. So many people want to grow up but I'm trying to catch up with every other 21 year old out there! There are some things I'm glad I didn't do (been out on the streets at -4 is one of them, still don't see the appeal!)
A number of people have dragged me down and nearly led me back to the path of self destruction once again but I've pulled my way back up, I refuse to allow bullies to rule my life again and knock me down. My Social Enterprise will be a success and will fight for it to be one.
I just want people to realise that there isn't a certain look for mental health. The shock on people's faces when they realise I'm a self harmer is actually to the point laughable. I have plans for sessions around perceptions and looks and to be honest I think it's going to be a great activity. If I could go back to the 12 year old me and tell me what was going to become of my life I would laugh. However, crazy as it sounds mental health might have been the worst but best thing that could have happened to me.
It's so important to not judge people so quickly.
xxxxxx
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