30 Day Mental Health Blog Challenge - Day 1

Thursday 28th August 2014
10:30am

So a few people have been doing a blog called the 30 day mental health blog challenge, so here we go.

Day 1 - What is/are your mental illness(es)? Explain it a little.

Where do I start?!

My official diagnosis are Anorexia Nervosa and Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) , both of these are then linked to my depression, anxiety and self harm.

I suppose I've noticed more people struggle with my diagnosis of BPD due to the stigma which is attached to it.  I suppose it took me a while to accept it myself, once I had accepted it I was desperate for other people to see that and so it hurt me when others didn't.

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So on another note, I'm actually looking forward to September and my normal routine can begin again.  As much as I'm nervous about going back to uni, I suppose I owe it to myself to prove so many people wrong.  With the work I'm doing with fixers this should help combat some stigma and hopefully change the attitudes I faced at the end of last term. I have a great "support worker" as such at uni and to be honest it's good that I have someone that I can go to, outside of class.  I think some people struggle with the idea that doing a counselling course and having a tutor who is qualified I should be able to go there, but that's not always the case.  It was the same in college, I could confide more in the people who weren't seeing me each morning in registration or in class.  The head of college was amazing and I really couldn't fault the support she gave me and the time she took to understand.  With the diagnosis of BPD it made sense why I am the way I am with the relationships I form with people.

I'm really hoping that once my routine kicks in my mood will improve and I have something to focus on again each day, other than trying to find something to do and needing an excuse to leave the flat (sad I know).

Tonight is the last home game for Warrington Wolves of the season and due to my usual buddy this season sunning himself I've asked my brother to come and keep me company.  I hate crowds and obviously the rugby isn't the ideal place but the Wolves kept me going when I was receiving treatment from my anorexia.  Any matches I could watch I would watch, it was my reminder of home without feeling to annoyed with not being home (if that makes any sense) As long as I'm with someone who knows me and can see when I starting to get on a high or low I seem to be able to get through, I can get my frustration out and put myself into the game.  I'm not a sporty person at all and I don't want to come across that I completely understand all the rules of the game, but for me it's a bit of normality.  Every now and again there are a few surprises which I've not prepared myself for.  So I suppose I have Warrington Wolves in away to help me put myself in a situation I'd much rather not be in, but each game is a step in the right direction no matter if we win or lose!

Rach x